Mood: anxious
Music: Phil Collins
Man, oh man; how I wish I were one of those laid-back, every mushroom cloud has a silver lining people. Instead, I tend to be usually wound tighter than a spool of thread, waiting for the other shoe to drop and that next bit of cruel irony to come my way. Oddly enough, however, while I sweat the small stuff more than Meatloaf at a concert in the Sahara, I am able to detach myself from the big stuff.
Busy day at work? Feel overwhelmed all day, wondering if I should have brought my pajamas, blanket and pillow.
Relative in the hospital? I’m sure it will be okay. No biggi dealiki.
Maybe it’s easier to detach and not feel as much when it affects other people and those people are counting on you to be strong. But when it only affects you, it’s easier to feel hopeless, anxious and downright whiny.
And the advice people give is great: count to ten, look for something good, there was a reason that this happened, think about those less fortunate, give it up to God, etc. Great advice except when you are so stressed or annoyed you can barely remember how to COUNT to ten, your vision is blurry, you don’t KNOW the reason, everyone else you think of is better off and God puts you on hold with cheesy elevator music. So other than going to some therapy group, taking zombie medication, or repeating some self-help guru’s “I am a hollow reed….the wind blows through me” crap, what can I do to not go into panic mode or ‘my life is a cruel irony’ mode? How does one go from being a spool of thread to being a loose-fitting, comfy sweater?
Odd Pasty Chicks Have More Fun 